Three weekend jokes to ponder: Number 1

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“What are you so happy about?” a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

“I broke a mirror,” he replied.

“But that means seven years of bad luck.”

“I know,” he said, beaming.  “Isn’t it wonderful?”

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Three weekend jokes to ponder: No. 2

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One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside.  He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously and a genie appeared.

“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,”  the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job – a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”

“Poof!” said the genie.

“You’re a housewife.”

Three weekend jokes to ponder: No. 3

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A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.  “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop.

“I juggle them in my act.”

“Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop.  “Let’s see you do it.”  The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives.

Another man driving by slows down to watch.  “Wow,” says the passer-by.  “I’m glad I quit drinking.  Look at the test they’re giving now!”

Voices of the bored retirees.

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  • “I’m trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.”
  • “I’m a frustrated fish out of water since retiring two years ago.”
  • “I’m desperate to find something to fill my time!”
  • Woman in her 80’s: “What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?  I feel helpless and hopeless without worthwhile connections.”
Are you living past the sunset in your life?

I attended a class four and a half years ago comprised of people in their 50’s through their 80’s.  This class was designed to make our Senior years count.  I just now stumbled on notes that I took in that class wherein each class member was asked to make a comment about their current state in life.  The above four comments are just some of those statements.

Desperation and sadness all around me.  I recall now that the mood of this class was one of desperation and sadness as those who yearned for retirement their whole working life found themselves frantically trying to fill their days.  Their feelings were summed up in these words:

  • depressed
  • lack of purpose
  • short-sightedness
  • emptiness
  • loss of self

Gerontologist, S. Barkin puts it this way regarding our responsibility to be actively walking through our senior years, and I paraphrase,

What do we want to do for the time remaining in our life?   We all should be mining our experiences and the wisdom therein to help with our present and future paths.

As I mentioned in my article, Retirement planning: it’s not what you think, all of us have a history of life skills that should not be put up on a shelf and never used again.  Instead we should be retooling those skills into something that is meaningful and enjoyable to us and beneficial to others.  The students in my class had many thoughts – mostly unfocused and therefore not very productive – but those thoughts had yet to turn into action.

The first step is to decide what is significant to you and act on it.

Aging well starts with the mind but it’s in the doing that makes it count.  We all have a choice when we find ourselves at a loss of purpose: we can stay stuck, or we can actively make a difference in the local community around us.  Baby Boomers are the first generation of peoples to have such a long life span.  We’re living longer so we have more time to pass our knowledge down to others and use our skills in a valuable way.  As the sports company Nike says in one of their ad campaigns:  JUST DO IT!

Snail Mail (personal) vs Electronic Mail (impersonal)

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I’m thrilled that instant information rules our day for the most part and I’m SUPER thrilled that we can communicate via Blogging, but I’m also a proponent of posted/written communication.

First of all: Blogging.

I think us Bloggers relish the opportunity to “be published” on the Internet because  not many of us will ever have a byline in a syndicated newspaper, and book-publishing just seems too hard a goal to attain.  With that said, however, I write with this in mind: job counselors often advise employees to dress for the job they want, not for the job they currently hold, so I’m Blogging with a publishing intent that takes me out of my home-office and into the homes of others.  If I can’t get others to read my articles, I may as well be writing in a personal journal.  So blogging is a great venue in which to reach the masses.

But I LOVE the written word.  I own a Kindle, actually, I’m on my second Kindle, and that’s the only way I read books, be they fiction or non-fiction.  I’m such a voracious reader, I’m convinced Kindle was invented just for me.  🙂  So when I say I love the written word, what I’m really saying is that I love letter writing.  I own stationery, n. paper and other materials needed for writing, and I have a large accordion file that holds greeting cards, n. a decorative card sent to convey good wishes. (Definitions from the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, 11th Edition, 2004.)  I love sending cards and I love receiving cards, but mostly I love sending them.

Nicole Brodeur, Seattle Times staff columnist wrote a piece that appeared in our local newspaper on January 13, 2012: For The Love of A Letter. She writes how wonderful it is to receive a piece of mail with our name on it, written in hand, which becomes “a bit of humanity among the bills and slick circulars.”   She correctly states that the written letter is becoming a dying art, so much so that the United States Postal Service faces a very bleak, if not brief, future.  Certainly e-mail is quick and doesn’t require one of those pesky, ever-changing-in-value postal stamps.   Evites are quick and oh so engaging – NOT- as we read respondents’ comments about why they can’t attend.  But Evites are pretty darn impersonal.  Ted Kennedy Watson, owner of two Seattle shops with all things paper, states in Ms. Brodeur’s article that he “gets ‘hundreds’ of emails a day, some invitations to events that, en masse, lose some of their luster.  You start to feel more included than invited.”

En masse communications – you’re simply one of the many e-mail addresses in someone’s global e-mail address book.  I know we’ll always rely on this form of instant communication – I certainly do – but Ms. Brodeur hits it on the nail when she says that she hopes that “we don’t tweet or tap away the value of putting thoughts to paper, of taking the time.”  (Even a “Dear John” written letter is more personal and respectful than a “Dear John” e-mail or text message.)  She talks about letters that she’s saved over the years which instantly brought to mind one of my most valuable letters; one which I keep in my fireproof safe: the last letter my mother ever wrote to me.  My parents still lived in Hawaii when I moved to the Seattle area in June of 1994 and my mother and I spoke on the phone at least two times a week.  But it was her letters that I relished the most.  One of those letters arrived in my mailbox on September 22nd, 1994.  I read it, placed it to the side, and went about the rest of my day.  Two days later my mother died in her sleep quite suddenly and inexplicably.  When I received the news in a phone call from my father that day I frantically looked around for my mom’s letter hoping that I had not tossed it in the recycle bin.  Glory hallelujiah – I had not.  So two days before my mother died, I have her thoughts on paper, in her handwriting, and signed “Love, Mom” at the bottom of the second page.

Somehow I don’t think a saved e-mail could ever render the memories and the sentiments that my mother’s handwritten letter does every time I retrieve it from the safe to read it.

Facebook (I have an account) and Twitter, and other social sites can continue to do what they do, but let’s not dispense with the antiquated and/or archaic practice of putting pen to paper.  Please?

Chilly jokes for those of us buried in snow: No. 2

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Two guys, Jimmy and Johnny, were standing at heaven’s gate, waiting to be interviewed by St. Peter.

Jimmy:  “How did you get here?”

Johnny:  “Hypothermia.  You?”

Jimmy:  “You won’t believe it.  I was sure my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early one day hoping to find the guy.  I accused my wife of unfaithfulness and searched the whole house without any luck.  Then I felt so bad about the whole thing, I had a massive heart attack.”

Johnny:  “Oh, man.  If you had checked the walk-in freezer, we’d both be alive.”

Chilly jokes for those of us buried in snow: No.1

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Two ministers died and went to heaven.  St. Peter greeted them and said,

“Your condos aren’t ready yet.  Until they’re finished, you can return to earth as anything you want.”

“Fine,” said the first minister.  “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle soaring over the Grand Canyon.”

“And I’d like to be a real cool stud!” said the second minister.

Poof!  Their wishes were granted.

When the condos were finished, St. Peter asked an assistant to bring back the two ministers.

“How will I find them?” the assistant said.

“One is soaring over the Grand Canyon,” St. Peter replied.  “The other may be tough to locate.  He’s somewhere in Detroit – on a snow tire.”