Common Caregiver Challenges

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Common Caregiver Challenges.

The words Caregiver and Challenge go hand-in-hand.  Here’s an article to shed some light on a caregiver’s predicament.

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Activities for People With Dementia

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Activities for People With Dementia.

It’s very difficult to successfully engage someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia.  I hope you benefit from this Blog article by Lauren Watral.

Examining our gratitude levels

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By the time you read this article, I hope you’ve already read the reblogged article I posted entitled “Up Your Gratitude,” published in a Parade Magazine article earlier this year.  That article was part of the inspiration for this article and can be found in this same Blog category.

I recently watched an Oprah Network special wherein Oprah visits families of Hasidic Jews.  One of the families had NEVER seen a television show in their lives and didn’t even know who Oprah was until her staff approached the family about this project of interviewing a Hasidic Jewish family.  This family consisted of the husband and wife and 9 children, the oldest of which was 17 years old and the youngest, 18 months.  If you can believe what the 17 year old son said – and I think I do – he has absolutely never watched TV and is an extremely happy teenager.  The couple’s 15 year old daughter loves not having the normal pressures associated with young teen girls.  “There’s no pressure” she explained.

Hasidic schoolchildren in Łódź, circa 1910s.
Image via Wikipedia

None of the children had ever heard of the names that Oprah tossed into their conversation: from cartoon characters such as Micky Mouse and Sponge Bob Squarepants, to Beyonce and other well-known entertainers.  Nope, they had no idea what or who she was talking about.  Considering they had never heard of Oprah, that’s not at all surprising.

And yet they were extremely happy and grateful people.

THIS ARTICLE IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION – it’s about the lack of wanting more,wanting better, and wanting bigger as it relates to consumerism.  Each person Oprah interviewed talked about the lack of pressure in their life to want, want, and want even more.  As a matter of fact, the wife in this family of 9 children, who is pregnant with her 10th child, said the only time she had a feeling of wanting more was when she was able to upgrade to a better wig when her earnings increased.  (At a certain age, Hasidic women must cover their hair as a gesture of modesty, be it a scarf or a wig.)  So when this woman was able to get a better wig she experienced an “Aha” moment – getting a better, more natural looking wig satisfied a want for something more that she hadn’t ever experienced.  Gratitude abounded in this household that most definitely doesn’t resemble our idea of a “normal” frantic-ridden, electronic guided, household.

Time to check my own gratitude level – and level of personal satisfaction.  When you receive not-so-good service at an establishment, do you trash its character to others so that they are aware of the establishment’s failings and will curtail their support of its business?  It’s easy to complain about something isn’t it?  It’s harder – but better – to compliment someone who does a great job:

  • Writing a note to the manager of a salon you frequent, complimenting the stylist who always does such a great job on your haircut and/or color.  It’s not enough that you tell the stylist how satisfied you are.  Tell the one who signs his paychecks and sets his schedule – that’s where the thank you also needs to go so that your favorite stylist receives something for his/her efforts.
  • Going out of your way to thank someone in person, or by thank you note, for their volunteerism at church or other community venue;
  • Calling or writing a note, not texting, not e-mailing, when you’re grateful for something you received as a gift;
  • When your coworker does a great job, or your child does something in the home without being asked, or when you are simply grateful for the commitment your spouse has to his or her job that assures constant financial support in the home – acknowledge their efforts instead of simply appreciating them in your own mind.

Who benefits from appreciative thoughts if they are not expressed to the person who inspired them?  Gratitude expressed provides more benefit than you can imagine.  Don’t you want to start a ripple effect of gratitude in your small corner of the universe?  Get that ripple going – you’ll be better off as a result, and everyone to whom that ripple touches will benefit as well.

Up Your Gratitude: ThankYou Notes Can Have Profound Effects | Parade.com

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Up Your Gratitude: ThankYou Notes Can Have Profound Effects | Parade.com.

The attached article, published on January 1, 2012 in the Sunday newspaper’s Parade Magazine section, had a great impact on me; so much so that I wrote my own blog article today, about the effects of gratitude on one’s life.  I hope you enjoy both articles.

Alzheimers Caregiving, It’s All in the Palm of Your Hand

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Alzheimers Caregiving, Its All in the Palm of Your Hand.

No is the biggest, most frequently used word in the Alzheimer’s World Dictionary.  This article, reblogged from the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, addresses the difficulties of communicating with a person with dementia.  Remember – don’t always take No for an answer.

10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents

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10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents.

This VERY comprehensive article is designed for a person’s elderly parents but guess what…us Baby Boomers need to be aware of these resources as well so I want to pass this article along to you!  It helped me – I hope it’s a great resource for you as well.

Alzheimer’s and other dementia: Advance Directives

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Most people don’t want to talk about end-of-life issues but all of us know it’s a topic requiring early discussion and appropriate timing to be of any use when emotional, and sometimes emergent, decisions must be made.

Auguste Deter. Alois Alzheimer's patient in No...
Image via Wikipedia of a patient for whom Dr. Alzheimer provided care. This patient became the model for diagnosing Alzheimer's dementia.

My siblings and I benefited from my parents’ end-of-life documents that dictated their wishes should we need to become involved.  My mother died in her sleep in 1994 so no active involvement was necessary but my father, suffering with Alzheimer’s for five years by the time he died in 2007, gave us a gift by spelling out in detail his end-of-life wishes set in place at least a decade before he died.  Think of an Advanced Directive or Living Will as a gift to your loved ones.  It certainly was a gift to my siblings and me.

An organization in Washington state, Compassion & Choices, worked with Seattle University Clinical Law Professor, Lisa Brodoff, to create a new advance directive for people with Alzheimer’s and other dementia.  This same law professor was instrumental in the passage of legislation in Washington State creating the Mental Health Advance Directive for people with mental illness.  This statute is considered to be model legislation for other states wanting to expand the rights and planning options for people with mental illness.  Bravo Washington State!!!

Although not yet available, the new Alzheimer’s/Dementia Advance Directive will be based on one created by Professor Brodoff for a 2009 Elder Law Journal article titled (excerpt attached): Planning for Alzheimer’s Disease with Mental Health Directives.  The new Alzheimer’s/Dementia advance directive is not intended to replace existing end-of-life documents such as a Living Will and/or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, but is designed to work in concert with those documents to ensure that any issues important to the patient with dementia that are not addressed in standard advance directives are honored as much as possible.

What additional issues are addressed in the new advance directive for those with Alzheimer’s or other dementia?

Potential issues that might be addressed are preferences regarding:

  • care in and outside of the home;
  • financing of said care;
  • caregiver choices;
  • involuntary commitment;
  • consent to participation in drug trials;
  • suspension of driving privileges; and
  • any future intimate relationships.

To get on the mailing list in Washington state to receive a copy of the new advance directive contact Compassion Washington: by email, info@CompassionWA.org or by calling their office at: 206.256.1636 or Toll free: 1-877-222-2816.  At the very least, regardless of where you live, using their model as a guide when creating your own Advance Directive may be helpful when such Directive affects the life of a loved one with dementia.  Being prepared for the unexpected, or even what you indeed suspect might be a future health issue, provide peace of mind for the patient and for his or her caregiver. 

That’s a priceless gift to be sure.