Lighten up Mondays
I’m not on a diet but thought I’d spotlight dieting humor this week.
- The first day of dieting is always the best. You’re supposed to rid your house of all bad foods…what a delicious way to start a diet.
- You know how it is when you feel like you’ve been dieting for months and realize it’s only been since 9 that morning?
- Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy Twinkies.
- Professional tip: if you sprinkle coconut oil into your kale, it makes it a lot easier to scrape it into the trash.
- How’s the diet going? Not good, I had eggs for breakfast. Scrambled? No, Cadbury.
- You know how it is when you decide to have a cheat meal and all of a sudden it’s three years later?
- I want to be a caterpillar: eat a lot, sleep for awhile, wake up beautiful.
- I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was, “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”
Living: the ultimate team sport 
October 2, 2017 at 7:13 am
Dieting is a great way to “Lighten Up” . . .
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October 2, 2017 at 7:45 am
Good one. Hadn’t even thought of that play on words. Great!
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October 2, 2017 at 2:09 pm
Here’s a bonus diet joke:
Q: My trainer said that swimming is good for my figure. What do you think?
A: NO WAY. If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
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October 2, 2017 at 3:22 pm
Exactly.
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October 2, 2017 at 5:07 am
Loved these, especially the kale reference. LOL!
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October 2, 2017 at 6:58 am
I can NOT eat Kale. My body “rejects” it.
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