The brutality of loss

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Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and author of the book, Option B, speaks of the brutality of sudden loss, something with which she is very well-acquainted. Requiem for the status quo speaks of the equally as brutal protracted loss of someone suffering from Alzheimer’s or other dementia. I’m not interested in comparing the two because those of us who have suffered a life-changing loss have no reason to compete with each other.

Caregivers for a loved one with dementia witness the gradual loss of someone they love over an extended period of time.

Once my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, it took four years for him to leave me. I was devastated the moment he took his last breath, but my heart was continuously ripped apart during the years leading up to that final breath.

48 months, 208 weeks, 1460 days, 35,040 hours, and 2,102,400 minutes of ongoing departures from my and his life.

The characters in my debut novel, Requiem for the status quo, have a front row seat to their loved one’s measured departure from this earth. That departure might appear as more-than-a-senior-moment forgetfulness; inability to perform simple tasks; struggling to come up with the name of the spouse to whom a person has been married for half a century; or the complete change in personality from a loving spouse, to an actual threat to the other spouse’s life.

Loss is a life event from which recovery has no prescribed length of time, but recovery does eventually occur. In time, we live a minute where we can truthfully acknowledge that during that brief snippet of time, we didn’t feel the pain and despair as deeply as before. When that happens, dear friends and readers, I encourage you to celebrate that moment because if you wait for the big events for which you might hold a celebration, you just might be waiting for a very long time.

Celebrate even the smallest of victories and joys. Doing so will guarantee you many more reasons to be grateful, to experience joy, and perhaps to even witness the life-giving feeling that hope can bring.

In less than twenty days, Requiem for the status quo will be released. It is currently available for preorder at Black Rose Writing; enter discount code PREORDER2017 before July 20th for a 10% discount. You can also preorder Requiem at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. Be sure to shop around for the best price, you won’t be sorry you did. And for those of you with eReaders, the eBook will be available at most online book retailers on, or about, July 27th.

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