Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on February 6, 2017 Updated on February 5, 2017

Oftentimes, those of us who live in wintery locations leave home in an attempt to find some sunshine. My neighbors across the street recently left the Seattle area to spend the weekend in Juneau, AK; although cold, it was sunny. The neighbors to my left returned from Belize where the husband celebrated his 40th birthday, and the neighbors to my right are currently in sunny Mexico. Today’s humor focuses on humor abroad.

A man on holiday in Spain thought he would email his sister back in England. But he made a typo, so instead of sending it to Joan Foster, he sent it to Jean Foster, the wife of a recently deceased priest. When that wife read it, she fainted. It read: “Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.”

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Doing the rounds of his barns in a remote country area, a farmer came across a parachutist who had landed in hay. “What happened?” asked the farmer. “My chute failed to open.” replied the parachutist. “Ah, well, if you’d asked the locals before making your jump, you would’ve known that nothing around here opens on a Sunday.”

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A traveler went through the TSA checkpoint, being pulled randomly to go through the full body scanner. Upon arrival at his destination he received some good news and some bad news. The bad news: “Your luggage is lost.” The good news: “The full body scan indicated that you’re in excellent health!”

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A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In many part os Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him gives the tourist a jab and says, “They don’t serve beer here, you moron!”

The German fellow felt pretty stupid but suddenly turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look and began to laugh.

“And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands.

“Oh, nothing really, I just realized you came here for the food.”