Teacher: “Where is your homework?” Student: “I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.”
If teachers were honest about their report card comments to parents: “Jimmy continues to be a sh*t. I would like him to stop being a sh*t. Please work out your sh*t so Jimmy is not a sh*t.
Teacher in answer to a student’s question about the book he’s holding: “It’s called reading. It’s how people install new software into their brains.”
Teacher: “Class, we will only have a half day of school this morning.” Students: “Hooray!” Teacher: “We will have the other half this afternoon.”
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who are good in math, and those who aren’t.
Teacher: “You failed the test.” Student: “You failed to educate me.”
And proof that punctuation saves lives:
“Let’s eat Grandma!” vs “Let’s eat, Grandma”