Time for a bit of psychiatric analysis – five jokes worth:
A man was attacked and left bleeding in a ditch. Two psychiatrists passed by and one said to the other, “We must find the man who did this – he needs help!”
The seriously disturbed man slunk into the office of an eminent psychiatrist.
“Doctor, you have to help me, it’s gotten really bad,” he pleaded. I feel like nobody ever listens to me.”
The psychiatrist looked up and said, “Next!”
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But the lightbulb has to really want to change.
“I wouldn’t worry about your son playing with dolls,” the doctor told the middle-aged matron. She said, “I’m not worried, but his wife is very upset.”
After the woman seated herself in the psychiatrist’s office, the doctor asked, “What seems to be the problem?”
“Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.”
“I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is eighty dollars an hour.”
“That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for all night?”