If ever there is an example of how life can turn on a dime, it’s Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords’ tragic experience. January 8, 2012 marks one year since Ms. Giffords was shot in the head while meeting with her constituents in Tucson, Arizona.
The bullet traveled 1000 feet per second into her brain and not only did she survive, even her neurosurgeons termed her recovery a miracle. Is Ms. Giffords back to 100%? No. Will she be? There is a strong hope that she will. As her husband said to Diane Sawyer when asked if he’s holding out too much hope: “You can’t have too much hope! That’s not practical!” In her ABC special on 20/20 chronicling Congressman Giffords’ and her husband, Astronaut Mark Kelly’s journey, Diane Sawyer characterized their endeavors in this manner:
The courage & love you bring when the life you live, is not the life you planned.
Some of you reading this Blog are in the midst of a life trauma that you certainly didn’t plan, and from which you wish you were released. What challenge do you face? Did you see it coming?
One story of life’s changes. I volunteer as a Facilitator for an Alzheimer’s Association caregiver support group. Every member of our group has a loved one with some sort of dementia diagnosis. Some are in the early stages, some are in the middle stages, and three in particular recently experienced the end stage.
RRRING! A telephone rings in the middle of the night and life changes for caregivers gearing up for the Holidays with their family.
In the wink of an eye, life as they knew it took a sharp turn. It’s the Holiday season and suddenly one set of caregivers hires in-home hospice care for their parent and another caregiver rides in an ambulance with her spouse to a local hospice center because of a terminal change in health. Within days both sets of caregivers arrange memorial services for which they hadn’t planned at this stage of their loved one’s life.
BANG! Six lives are lost, and Gabrielle Giffords’ and Mark Kelly’s lives change forever.
Congresswoman Giffords loved spending time with her constituents. The night before she was shot, she took a long bike ride with a friend and was eager for the next day to begin. A week later she and her husband were to undergo in vitro fertilization so they could start planning the birth of their first child together. And those attending this gathering, both staff and general citizenry, hoped for a successful and enjoyable experience. The bottom line is that you can’t plan for what you can’t see coming.
Oftentimes when we hear of tragedies such as those mentioned above, we naively say to ourselves, “Those are the types of things that happen to other people; not us.” Well, the truth of the matter is, those types of things happen to people, and that’s us.
Congresswoman Giffords’ neurosurgeons stated that they don’t know where in the brain one finds charm, optimism, humor or charisma. Certainly no where in the brain can one find sufficient prescience that allows us to see what’s coming around the corner.
No matter how hard we try; no matter how careful we are; life turns on a dime. And sometimes, the life we live becomes the life we did not plan.
I received inspiration for this article from the caregiver heroes with whom I am acquainted, and from Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly in their book: Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope.