Tag Archives: long-term care housing

The Journey of Grief: A Personal Snapshot

The Journey of Grief: A Personal Snapshot.

Grief

Grief (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Grief – when one experiences a loss, there is no way around this emotion.  It has no clearly defined end.  It manifests itself differently for every individual.  The writer of the above article shares the personal side of how this emotion presented itself in his own life in this continuation of his series of articles on grief.

This “personal snapshot” is a follow up to his first article in the series that addressed an event in ones life for which everyone’s grieving experience takes on a slightly different character.  I  hope you’ll read the article attached above, and his previous article – also available on his website.

Moving Mom and Dad – or your spouse.

Moving Mom and Dad – Leaving Home is an article from the June/July 2012 AARP Magazine.  Statistics on aging are astounding, and scary.  “By 2020 some 6.6 million Americans will be age 85 or older.”  That’s an increase of 4.3 million from the year 2000.  Time to celebrate – right?  We’re living longer – and in some cases – thriving in our older age.  The reality of the situation, however, is that eventually we’ll need some sort of assistance with our activities of daily living (ADLs) that might require a move to a care facility of some sort.

The stories presented in the attached article describe family instances where emergent circumstances warranted an emergent decision to move a parent into some sort of care facility.  The best case scenario, as this AARP article suggests is that you, “dig the well before you’re thirsty.”  Nice sentiment – but not always possible.

I have written numerous articles for my blog that address the difficulties the caregiver, and the one needing care, go through when making the decision to choose a long-term care (LTC) facility for a loved one.  Below are links to each of those articles.  I hope they prove beneficial to you.

Deathbed promises and how to fulfill them.

Caregiving: The Ultimate Team Sport.

Selecting a Senior housing community – easy for some, not for the rest of us.

Avoiding the pitfalls of selecting Senior Housing.

Adjustment disorder: a long-term care facility side- effect.

Be an advocate for your aging loved one.

Visiting a loved one at a long-term care facility.

Caregiver guilt.

Adjustment disorder: a long-term care facility side-effect.

Duct-tape Moving Van

Think of a moving/relocating experience you’ve had with all of its inherent tasks of purging of items, packing what remains, and leaving all that is familiar as you move into uncharted territory.  In your new neighborhood you’re starting all over again to find: new friends;  a new supermarket with the best deals; perhaps the best school(s) for your children; a new church; and new ties to the community.  Not exactly an enjoyable experience.  It took you some time to adjust to your new community and feel that you fit in, didn’t it?

Now imagine doing the same thing as someone who is at least 70 years old with failing health, no family nearby, and perhaps with a compromised cognition level.  Vulnerable adults move into a long-term care (LTC) housing environment because of a condition, or combination of conditions, that make living independently no longer an optionBecause of this disruptive move, another disorder – adjustment disorder – makes their move a perilous one.

A loss of context in a new environment.  In my work as an advocate for vulnerable adults, I recently had the privilege of hearing a wonderful speaker, George Dicks.  Mr. Dicks currently supervises the Geriatric Psychiatry Service clinic at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, WA.  He is also a contracted instructor for the University of Washington, teaching courses on Gerontology, Psychiatric Consultation, and Mental Health.  He emphasized that residents living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities struggle to look for context within their new environment.  For example, context is hard to come by when your daily bath occurs at 2:00 in the afternoon instead of in the morning or evening as was the case prior to the move.  And forget finding comfort in routine because the demands on LTC staff are such that caring for numerous residents on their shift can’t possibly assure a routine on which the residents can rely.

Just providing care doesn’t mean that a staff person is caring.  Everyone who moves into a long-term care facility will have difficulties, but those who are cognitively impaired face an especially arduous adjustment.  As I previously mentioned, staff are hard pressed to provide individual care to their residents, and oftentimes are poorly prepared to handle the disorders that walk through the door.  Just getting through their daily shift is troublesome – forget trying to learn the habits and routines that are so vital for quality of life of the resident with dementia.

a hand holding unidentified white pills

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Quite frequently, the only contact a staff person has with a resident is when they are making demands of that resident: “time to take your medicines Mrs. Jones;” “let’s get that soiled clothing changed Mr. Smith;” “open your mouth Mrs. Clark so I can feed you.”  Providing for  basic needs is not providing care.  Why?   Because the staff are requiring something of the resident.  There is no connection.  When a staff person interacts with a resident, absent a provision of care, that’s a better definition of care.

How to lessen the effects of adjustment disorder.  Those living in a long-term care housing situation oftentimes feel as though they left all their power, and all of their basic human rights, at the door.  They are constantly surrounded with reminders of their condition – all those other residents who look as lost and helpless as they do – and it seems that the only time anyone pays attention to them is when someone is demanding something of them in the form of providing some sort of assistance with their care needs.  If every staff person spent just five minutes of non-task-oriented time with each resident during their shift, those residents just might start feeling better about themselves. 

  • Walk with a resident for a few minutes by simply accompanying them in the hallway and reassuring them along the way.
  • Play music the residents like in the common areas and in their rooms – and don’t assume that you know what they like to hear.  Take the time to find out what gets their feet tapping.
  • When you walk past a resident, greet them, smile at them, just as you would if you were in a social environment instead of a clinical environment.  Again, do so even when you’re not providing a care service.  Your friendly, heart-felt greeting may just make their day.
  • Start a dialogue with residents that allows them to open up to you about who they are; what their lives were like prior to arriving at the facility.  If you need to jot down some of their stories so you’ll remember them later, do so and continue the dialogue the next time you see them.  Wouldn’t it be a pleasant surprise to a resident when you asked them, “Tell me more about your grandson Charlie.  He seems like a real character!”  Wow – you were actually listening, and it shows.  Now you’re connecting with the resident.

If you are a staff person in a long-term care facility can you put your grandma or grandpa’s face on your patients/residents faces thereby having a greater incentive to connect with those receiving your care?  Or if that doesn’t work for you, do what you must in order to add an element of care to those you serve.  Just because you’re helping the resident perform a task, doesn’t mean that you’re providing the care that they really need.

Avoiding the pitfalls of selecting Senior Housing.

You’re patting yourself on the back, congratulating yourself for:

  • finally deciding that it’s time to move into Senior Housing; and
  • deciding which type of long-term care (LTC) option suits your needs.

Now what?  You’re scared to death because of the abhorrent negative press you’ve read regarding certain types of Senior Housing.  Good for you – you should be!  There are ways to make your selection a more trustworthy one.  What follows will hopefully weed out the bad eggs, but there is absolutely NO guarantee the decision you make is 100% sure.

WORD OF MOUTH

Chances are that those similar to you in age – your friends, work associates, neighbors – have looked into or are currently looking into Senior housing options and they can be a very worthwhile resource.  Don’t be afraid to ask them to share their experiences with you and you’ll certainly do the same with others as their needs become known to you.  Better yet – if you know of someone who already lives in a LTC facility, visit them to discern what they think about their own choice.

HOUSING SEARCH RESOURCES 

Where will your path take you?

  • Check out your state’s Aging & Disability Services Administration department (linked here is Washington State’s ADSA.)  You really can’t go wrong checking out your State’s services for the Senior population.  These resources usually have links to long-term care facility research tools, such as the Assisted Living section of my local state’s ADSA.  No doubt your State’s Aging & Disability department will have similar links.  If you’re looking for retirement communities that involve totally independent living, or a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), an all-care type of residential model mentioned in my previous blog “Selecting a Senior Housing Community”, your search will be less informational because most States do not license retirement communities.
  • STATE INSPECTION SURVEY.  All licensed facilities in the United States are inspected/surveyed every 12 – 18 months.  This survey is quite thorough and covers absolutely EVERY aspect of a facility’s operations.  When you tour a facility, always ask to look at a copy of that building’s latest State Survey.  By law they must make it available to anyone who asks.  I don’t think I would ever consider a Senior housing option without reading the building’s State Survey.  You’ll find minor or major citations which will be very telling as to how the building is run and how the Administration or Owner of the building responds to such citations.

LONG-TERM CARE OMBUDSMAN PROGRAM (LTCOP)

Every state must have a long-term care ombudsman program in place.  These programs are mandated by the Federal Older Americans Act and are intended to improve the quality of life for people who live in long-term care facilities.  A call to the LTCOP intake line in your state is a call worth making.  Let’s say you’ve narrowed down your housing search to a few options.  You ask the LTC Ombudsman’s office about the types of complaints that have been filed against those facilities and this office will provide worthwhile information to help you make your housing decisions.  The National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Center  will help you locate your local LTC Ombudsman program.

SENIOR HOUSING LOCATORS

You’ll notice that I’ve placed this type of resource at the bottom of my list.  There are numerous housing “finders” out there and they can certainly be helpful.  You tell them what you’re looking for; what area of town you prefer; what type of care you need; and what you’re willing to pay; and they’ll come up with some options for you.  Please keep in mind, however, that these senior housing finders have an inventory of housing clients that may or may not be representative of all that is out there.  They may come up with some very good options for you but their list will most likely not be an exhaustive one.

Regardless of what/who you use to locate a LTC facility, I hope you’ll go through the previous options I’ve listed above to discern the appropriateness of any facility you’re considering.  Perhaps a Senior Housing Locator has provided what appear to be some great options for you and you’ve even toured them and feel comfortable with what is offered.  Prior to making your final selection, at the very least go through your State’s Long Term Care Ombudsman to discern whether or not any recent actions or citations have been placed against that facility.  And when touring any housing location, be certain to ask for the facility’s latest State Inspection Survey so you can see what the State thinks about that facility.

My father & I on a picnic a year before he died.